Spaciousness is Real Self-Care
(It's way more helpful than all the self-care stuff sold in social media ads.)
Over the last two weekends, I had the privilege and pleasure of being invited to two beautiful places: woodsy western Massachusetts and mountainous northern Vermont. One of the trips was a weekend of service, where I volunteered and cooked for a hardworking crew of thirty; the other was the celebration of a dear friend’s 50th birthday.
During both of these two-day trips, I soaked up time in the natural world: hiking, swimming in cold lake water, observing autumn foliage, and sleeping alone in a cabin in the forest (like Thoreau!) while listening to the owls. I couldn’t escape for solo weekend trips like this when I had little ones, so I consider this one of the blessings of the “empty nest.” I visited each of my college daughters during these two weekends. Between seeing them and being in the natural beauty nearby, my heart and soul were full.
I haven’t been writing much these last few weeks. Preparing for, coming back from, and integrating weekend adventures takes time and energy, and I’ve been at my capacity with just my client work. Although I’ve started the research and preliminary work on my third book, I needed this recent pause between creative projects to nourish myself.
In addition to being in nature, I’m someone who needs time to ramble and explore slowly. I’m oriented toward doing and moving most of the time, but I also need to be able to stop when I happen to pass an apple festival and enjoy a cider donut or wander aimlessly into the woods. In the natural world and with a spaciousness that allows me to “putter” without a the no-white-space calendar that is my typical life, I recharge and build my capacity so that I can continue do good work in the world.
So often we forget that we need rest and relaxation — in whatever particular form nourishes us. Some people chillax by watching movies or snuggling up on the couch. Some like to listen to music. I did some singing this past weekend with groups of friends around a campfire, which felt like soul nourishment. One of my friends described hiking in the mountains as “deeply regulating.”
Chopping vegetables for a communal meal and running into a cold lake post-hike are two experiences from my travels that I describe as sensory meditation. I also enjoyed a long drive back from Vermont, blasting a playlist of newly discovered “criminally underrated artists” that my musician and influencer brother recently turned me on to.
Although I love being with people, especially those I hold dearest, these solo moments remind me that connecting with my own bad self is vital.
If you had a day or two to ramble with only your own agenda (or no agenda, even better), where would you go?
Who would you visit?
What would you want to do and see and feel?
Would you meander or get to a destination quickly and then stop?
Would you lose yourself in a new city or a familiar countryside?
Would you stop and smell the roses — or freshly picked peaches?
How would you nourish yourself and recharge so that you return from your journey refreshed, relaxed, and with more capacity?
If this is hard even to imagine, I hear you. I have been there. You might start by considering and writing down some answers to those questions above. I suggest it’s possible to create a little spaciousness, maybe even in just a few moments between work tasks and housework and meeting everyone else’s needs. Don’t lose you and the things you love amid the to-do list.
Other Nourishing Nuggets:
I have a few more spaces left in my weekly hour-long virtual book club for parents and caregivers to read and discuss my latest book, Nurture: How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Bodies, and Themselves. I’m the group facilitator: the book’s author, a parent, and a person with lived experience of eating disorder recovery. The Start Date is Wednesday, 10/16, at 3:30 p.m. EST, and we will meet weekly until 1/8 (skipping 3 U.S. holiday weeks). Please reach out with any questions at heidi@anourishingword.com. Registration Link: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=16574070&appointmentType=68110289
If you are (or know) a mom who could use a little self-care and compassionate support, please consider the Mental Health and Motherhood Virtual Conference on Friday, October 11. I’m honored to be a part of this fantastic speaker lineup. Tickets are available now and very affordable ($25-50).
I recently had a great conversation with
on The Eating Disorder Therapist Podcast. We talked about supporting children and teens in navigating a healthy relationship with eating and their bodies—the theme of my book Nurture: How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Bodies, and Themselves.I also highly recommend the podcasts (Food Psych and Rethinking Wellness) of
. We talked about picky eating to peace with kids and food on her podcast episode #322, but she’s also had some other stellar guests that you won’t want to miss.
Even if you don’t have time to escape to the woods or the mountains, I hope you will find little moments to rest and refresh this Fall. Just a little time to yourself to remind you of what is nourishing for your body and soul (and it’s so different for everyone) creates a sense of spaciousness. We do our best and most creative work when we cultivate this.
A moment is precious. A day is magical. A weekend is a true privilege. Soak whatever you can and all of it in.
With much love in this shared life journey,
Heidi
P.S. It would mean a lot to me if you hit the “like” button or shared your thoughts to increase engagement. Please share about a time you rambled, “puttered,” or took some time for your own nourishment. I’m always happy to hear about topics you’d like me to write more about. Also, if you are able to upgrade to become a paid subscriber (only $4.17 per month) or share my biweekly posts with a potential reader, I would be incredibly grateful. Thank you so much for reading!
Yes sister, yes!!! ❤️
Beautiful photos and wonderful restful, restorative time well spent. Really enjoyed reading this. 🌳 ☀️ 😊