Elders Living Authentically Make the Best Influencers

Why Don't We Honor the Wisdom of Aging Over the "Promise"of Eternal Youth?

Last week, I was on a much-needed vacation and ate at a restaurant next to a table of lively people, all over 80, celebrating 65- and 67-year anniversaries. They were spirited and gregarious, and my friends and I chatted with them about this achievement.

On our way out, one woman stood up, pointed to me, and said, “Remember, the 50s are great! The best!”

It struck me that it would truly be super if we listened more to our elders about aging and not the people trying to sell us things.

This is my Nana on her 98th Birthday, with a flame-broiled cake.

Because I’m a woman of a certain age, the algorithms send me all kinds of counsel about erasing wrinkles, shrinking my belly, or looking ten years younger.

What if, instead, I accepted my wrinkles as testimony to decades of smiling or my belly as the seat of my creativity? What if I wanted to look just as old as I do, with all my wisdom and experience written on my body? (Yep, that includes the wobbly knees that have danced hard, a C-section scar, and some wild graying hair.)

What if instead of “treating” menopause, we accepted it as a part of the life cycle, just like puberty? Actually, it’s during stages like puberty and menopause that we see an uptick in dieting, dysregulated eating, and clinical eating disorders.

My friend Deb Benfield is preparing to release a book called Unapologetic Aging (available for pre-order now). I’m so excited about this book because we desperately need to talk about what she calls “aging body liberation” and to stop trying to stop time.

Fellow diet culture disruptor

Julie Duffy Dillon

also has a new book available. Find Your Food Voice is brimming with real-life stories and heartwarming letters written by people struggling to let go of the hold that dieting and managing food have had on their lives.

In my last newsletter, I wrote about the food trends on social media that are basically dieting in disguise. My daughter Ava and I debunked the myths and cult-y-ness around Coconut Cult yogurt in our playful video. This was an item flying off the shelves, despite costing $38 (yep, for a small cup of yogurt), because all the influencers were saying it made them hot.

I know that if I’m going to pay that much for yogurt, it better do my laundry.

Many forces are pulling us away from honoring our true selves and asking us to focus on our outward appearance. Most of this is to sell a product or plan or to make people feel insecure so influencers can grow their following.

Know that you are enough as you are.

Choose foods and self-care strategies that make you feel good inside and out and honor you as a whole person. Eat, move, and rest in ways that serve your body and help you to do the things in this life that light you and those around you up. (We all need some light lately.)

Also, remember that you are so much more than a face and a body. Your body is a physical form you inhabit in this life; it’s a miraculous collection of cells that sometimes work beautifully together and sometimes operate in frustrating ways, especially as the body ages.

My partner Pasha teaches hand-drumming to some incredible people at the Veronica Smith Senior Center in Boston.

You don’t have to love your body to accept it. And you don’t have to change your body so that it can be more acceptable for anyone else. Your body is yours, and it’s only one part of the whole of you.

I’m going to take to heart the words of the spunky 80-something woman who told me with enthusiasm and a twinkle in her eye, “The 50s are great!” I recently told a friend of mine that I’d like to imagine my years to come the way I regard the leaves here in the autumn: beautiful, colorful, and vibrant, even as their life begins to wind down.

I hope you embrace wherever your body, mind, and spirit are landing. We only get moments in this life, so make them yours and don’t let anyone tell you (to sell you a product or otherwise) that you or your very own body are less than (or more than) enough.

Other Nourishing Nuggets:

• If you are or know a college student who would like to be part of a support group in the summer for college students struggling with food and body issues, please respond to this post at heidi@anourishingword.com. I plan on keeping this group small, centered around reading and/or exploring social media critically together, and very affordable.

• I have reserved a couple of new slots for individual professional supervision/consultation for registered dietitians who see clients with eating disorders. Respond to this email if you are interested, or you can set up an initial appointment directly on my website.

• I’m also offering a (free) monthly “Creative Clinicians” Chat on Substack for helping professionals who are balancing artistic or creative pursuits. This happens alongside my other monthly Chat about the “empty” nest time of life. Instructions about accessing these interactive, ad-free, supportive community spaces are here.

• If you use electrolytes, I’d like to offer you 20% off to try Buoy, the first product I stand by enough to become an affiliate. I recommend it to clients with POTS, athletes, and those with other chronic conditions that affect hydration. I’m impressed with the company’s lifetime “chronic illness discount.” If you want to try Buoy for a 20% discount, please use my affiliate link.

• It’s been awhile since I talked about my books! Nourish: How to Heal Your Relationship with Food, Body, and Self (2018) and Nurture: How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Bodies, and Themselves (2024) are available everywhere. Ask at your local bookstore or library if you don’t see them. I’ve purposely made it very easy for both to access copies. Parents and caregivers are busy people; I’d love more reviews of the latter book. Reach out to me at heidi@anourishingword.com if you’d like to read a copy in exchange for writing an honest review.

  

  If you enjoyed or got something from this post, please “like” it via the heart below and/or restack it on Substack Notes. It’s a great way to help others find my work and support my writing. Thank you for reading and viewing, regardless, and you are always invited to share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.