Writer, Interrupted
How a Creepy English Teacher Chased Away a Writer and How She Found Her Way Back
I grew up the oldest of seven siblings with a lot to say. When I was four, my clever, overworked mom bought me my first blank diary. I couldn’t write yet, but I began dictating to her until I could. Prescription eyeglasses at age five added to my budding nerdiness.
Thanks to Mrs. Zarbo, a favorite fourth-grade teacher, I discovered poetry. With Shel Silverstein and Dr. Seuess as my influencers, I entered a program where I was pulled out of class so I wouldn’t be bored and disruptive. (Today, I’d likely be called “neuro-spicy” and “highly sensitive” instead of “gifted.”) I created a considerable poetry project for a kid just learning about the world.
I read voraciously and wrote about everything. Unfortunately, as an older teen, I became embarrassed by my young journaling and destroyed all those diaries. (My adult self is sad about this.) I continued to be a dedicated, curious student who absolutely loved learning.
My second love was dancing, and I started formally training at age six. Between homework and daily ballet classes, I developed into a very disciplined and busy teen. The balance of reading, writing, and dancing kept me fairly content for an odd bird.
During my first year of high school, my Catholic school English teacher gave me the first (and only) C of my academic career. He was sexually inappropriate, teased me in front of the class, and told me my writing was terrible. I was crushed but moved on (as I’d learned to do many years before when I was bullied for wearing glasses at a young age), and I put all my intellectual energy into science classes instead. After all, those teachers were kinder.
That Literary Arts teacher significantly altered my self-confidence as a writer and contributed to the development of a serious eating disorder by my senior year of high school. This event had a huge impact on my studies, relationships, and later career pursuits as a nutrition professional.
It wasn’t until I returned to post-graduate writing classes—as a young mother in my thirties—that I finally regained some confidence. A Health Writing instructor told me, “You could teach this class,” and I began writing an advice column about twin mothering (which I was very immersed in then). This graduate professor believed in my ability to translate science and psychology for a broader readership. I slowly started to find my authentic writer self again.
In a new online blog attached to my website, Nourishing Words, I admitted that I’d studied nutrition and psychology in college because I was doing the last part of my own healing from an eating disorder at the time. Some members of my professional community cautioned me about disclosing this. I trusted my gut about the disclosure, as I wasn’t writing about the details of my eating disorder, so as not to encourage comparisons. I also wasn’t volunteering details about my recovery in client sessions, as I am not the focus of that work.
Several clients in my nutrition therapy practice said that reading about my challenges was hopeful and validated their sense that “I got it.” These days, we understand that lived experience can support credibility and healing, but the eating disorders field was still quite shy about self-disclosure in the early 2010s. I decided to share parts of my story so that others might feel encouraged during the complex and often circuitous healing process.
While I love doing direct counseling work, I discovered through my blog that I could touch a broader audience with writing. Readers told me, “You should write a book.” Eventually, I did. Clients often asked, “Can you recommend a general nutrition book?” I literally couldn’t since so many books about nutrition contain content that would be triggering, shaming, or unhelpful for those who have struggled with disordered eating. My first book, Nourish: How to Heal Your Relationship with Food, Body, and Self, was my attempt to create a food and nutrition book I could recommend.
Readers then wrote to me saying they wished they’d had this information when they were younger or that their parents had these perspectives. My second book, Nurture: How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Bodies, and Themselves, emerged from requests to create a similar gentle, compassionate, yet authoritative book about food, nutrition, and body discussion for parents and caregivers. I believe we learn best (parent or not) when we are feeling supported instead of saying, “Oh, sh*t, I did everything wrong.” Pregnancy and parenting books often don’t do well with this important nuance, and I worked very hard on this tone with my diverse book advisory team. I hope Nurture will help change how we discuss food and bodies in our families, schools, and healthcare practices.
Throughout both of my books, I tell numerous clients’ stories. More important than the actual content of these stories is that doing healing work related to the body helps free people up to live more full and balanced lives with a sense of who they are as a whole person—and their purpose on the planet. This outcome, over and over, is the special sauce of eating disorder recovery work and embodiment that I have found to be true.
I wish I had trusted myself and my writing abilities over that high school English teacher many decades ago. I didn’t have the confidence back then to say he was both a pervert and wrong. I’m sure my daughters, now in college, would not have stood for what I experienced. I hope they will move to the beat of their own drums sooner than I did. (They seem to be, and I’m delighted.) That said, I honor the journey I was called to have, and I’m grateful for my healing so that I might circle back to write about it—even decades later—and help others do the same.
I’m honored if you’ve made it to the end of my little story. I’d like to introduce my current self to you, now that you’ve read a bit about my origins.
I’m Heidi Schauster, a nutrition and eating disorders specialist who helps people affected by trauma heal food and body concerns. I encourage young adults to approach wellness differently so that they are more concerned with the whole self than the selfie. I also believe all bodies deserve care, love, and to take up as much space as they do.
Here in my newsletter, Nourishing Words, I write from thirty years of experience as a nutrition therapist and eating disorders specialist near Boston, Massachusetts, USA. I endeavor to communicate in a trauma-informed way as a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP). I also bring to my writing lived experience as a person who has eating disorder recovery history, a proud and bumbling parent of two incredible young adults, and a lifelong dancer embracing a 50+-year-old body.
I also don’t think we talk enough about letting go of the children we raise and what it’s like to fill the “empty” nest, so I’ve started a monthly Friday Chat for anyone who wants a place to share about this subject. Information about how to join this Chat is located here.
I have written two multi-award-winning books, and have been featured as an expert in the Huffington Post, Oprah Daily, Prevention, and Women's Health Magazine, among others.
You can read the Introduction of my book, Nurture: How to Raise Kids Who Love Food, Their Bodies, and Themselves, on this page here.
Other fan-favorite posts include one I wrote about what self-care is and is not and about being your own influencer.
A few of my favorite recent podcast conversations are listed here:
Behind the Bite Podcast: Raising Kids Without the Stress or Struggles over Food
Food Psych Podcast: From Picky Eating to Peace with Food: Feeding Kids with Heidi Schauster
I will be over-the-moon excited if you subscribe to my newsletter, which is still called Nourishing Words, now here hosted by Substack. You will be supporting the writing of my next book, a guide for teens and young adults. You will also be becoming part of a community of people who care about healing relationships with food, body, and self. The majority of my writing is free, but there are some benefits to being a paid subscriber for only $4.17 per month, less than most lattes.
As a paid subscriber, you’ll have access to special “meatier” articles and the entire archives, the “Empty” Nest Chat, and the feeling of good ju-ju that comes from supporting my work as a writer and change-maker, as well as the production of my books. Founding Members (at $100 for the year) additionally receive signed copies of my first two multi-award-winning books, a locked-in yearly rate as I develop my offerings on Substack, and a pile of gratitude for supporting my work.
I hope you will enjoy being part of a community that supports healing and helps you thrive and feel nourished on a whole-self level. The world needs your unique gifts more than ever.
Warmly and with love in this shared life journey,
Heidi
Heidi Schauster, MS, RD, CEDS-C, SEP
(she/her/hers)
Website: https://www.anourishingword.com
Books: https://www.anourishingword.com/the-book
Social: https://www.youtube.com/@NourishingWordsWithHeidi